Biblr, or Swipe Right For Jesus

This is 2100 words, and a 10 minute read. Last edit: January 2022.

Swipe me and save one!

This piece deals with truths in self-illumination and the soul. There’s a method you can apply that’s really simple to begin and practise, especially if you already meditate. The text starts with a great deal of froth in order to infuriate and deflect the unready, before settling down into hard truths. Mind your hats and coats!

A brief history of ex communi­cations

Holy Testament! Biblr was a revolutionary app in it’s day, having extensive support for Apple, Briar, Sion and Androgyne platforms. However, several conclaves later, Androgynous users who’d embraced the terms of service were de-platformed and excommunicated. Ironic really, given Eve’s origin. Note also the early Anglo-Saxon stereotyping of Eve, which was well ahead of its time, yet persists to this day.

Thousands of years ago, the first dating apps became widely avail­able, and people subscribed to ‘Biblr‘. It was the disruptor to ‘Gathr‘, which hadn’t been updated in years. They had this killer slogan that went: ‘for those with eyes to see and thumbs to swipe’. So Gathr’s market share collapsed, because like how the fuck do you hook up for a quick shag on the basis of Good thoughts? With Biblr, you sheepishly promised you wouldn’t kill them, that being the then-woke interpretation of goodness. Thus pretty much everyone went for the free trial, and soon enough, their children inherited the world wide web.

It was a victim of its own success however, and fragmented early on with look-alike apps and various bondage sites. Yet despite that, it still enjoys an enormous user base. The aftermath defines the modern era, and the app’s terms and conditions remain ubiquitous today. That said, rational folks know better than to take two thousand year-old socio­economic, spiritual, political and marketing propa­ganda too literally.

According to the original tablet design, Jesus swiped right for everyone, including users that had yet to sign up. That’s an amazing sleight-of-hand, so I reckon he’d hacked The Server. Maybe the Mormons have been nailing it all along? Anyway, his profile’s now available as an NFT: ‘Stoner looking for a second chance’. If only they’d invented ticking-the-EULA box back then, he’d still be alive today. Or at the very least, the litigation would have made him a rich man.

Hardcore users will be outraged by all of this, of course. So in defence, one should never trust quotes of historical randos written about by other randos. We all know the Internet was invented to eliminate that kind of shit, and in the words of Sir Tim Burners-Lee (pbuh), “When you understand things, there’s no more religion.” Which was what Zarathustra told everyone too, before the priests coded a dating app in his name, and it all turned to fucking shit.

How to hack ‘The Server’ like a pro, and be like the elites!

Roll up! Roll up! Barely used timeshare for all the family!

Like Jesus, you too can hack The Server! Here’s a quick guide on how to get ahead, and be born again off-grid in a cave of your family’s choice!

  1. Y’all know that shit about the seven virtuesExternal hyperlink and before that, and far more concisely, ashaExternal hyperlink? Well actually, they were on to something. I know, right? We’ll come back to this later.
  2. Eastern peoples didn’t fall for the Biblr marketing campaign, so had a different slew of apps, with catchy slogans like ‘all disease comes from within’, working on the premise that lacking a strong spiritual connection unleashes all kinds of unholy shit. We’ll come back to this too!
  3. Ever meditated properly? You know, like when you’re quiescent and this deep, yet infinitely gentle wave of clarity, warmth and grace floods you? No, no, that’s incontinence. What, still no? Then keep at it. Sometimes a good wank does wonders to drain the mental swamp. And if you bask upon the lower plateau’s edge, just before the peak, and relax without snatching at anything, you might just blast sideways through time. It’s exactly the same concept I talk about in Lateral Meditation, but this time, it’s personal!

So let’s thread this needle. A close antonym of disease is ‘wholeness’ and wholeness comes about with a connection to your spirit (or ‘god’ for users of modern-fangled apps like Papr). Yogis are famous for their meditation, their virtues like compassion, fighting clowns, and being impervious to illness (you can trust me on the lack of citation, though I’m sure I’ve penned a stack of quotes somewhere), and are also spiritual. Well that’s all a bit circular, isn’t it? But maybe it’s a clue as to what wholeness means, and thus disease too?

Wholeness is all fine-and-dandy for yogis, but for the other 99.99966% of us, a good meditation is where the action starts. So let’s recap: Good thoughts (meditation) leads to Good words and actions (asha and the virtues, you remember them? They had some number one hits years ago) which gives the ability to Zoom God and thus avoid getting vaccinated…

It’s the perfect dot-joining logic-storm, I know, BUT! But and thrice but. BUT. There’s a but with a however. So let’s talk about that…

It’s not what you think

So imagine you’re lolling about in this aforementioned off-grid cave, but it’s you know, it’s a bit rustic. The wiring’s rough — sometimes shocking — and there’s no windows. Worse still, the door’s been rolled shut and it ain’t moving any time soon. Meanwhile, it’s dark. Like, really dark and let’s face it, very lonely. Sure, you thumb the phone for a while, but it’s the Sunday of life, there’s no sport going on and the emptiness gets to you, because there’s no more distraction.

Turning the lights on is quite an undertaking. It takes forever. The real problem though is the assumption there’s a switch, or something you have find somewhere. It’s always something external that we humans seek, even within the very cave itself. It’s a mindset jive we have. The yogis are clear on it; things come from within, e.g. it’s not something you reach for, but rather something that’s allowed or disallowed. You see the qualitative shift? That’s everything.

So as it turns out, the light’s been on all the time, it’s just you haven’t allowed yourself to notice it. The cave isn’t dark and never was, so trying to turn stuff on is a fool’s errand. The issue sits with how people see shit, because we’re all back-to-front and side-eyed. Outside the cave, you have to deal with survival essentials like the app store, and luxuries like food and work. This pattern is so ingrained that when folks think about being ‘internal’, it’s approached in an external fashion. So it makes perfect sense to fiddle for a light switch that was never there.

It’s what you don’t think

“Of course I’ll be safe, I’ve never had my head chewed off by a lion before!”

Yogis don’t get sick, but they also don’t ponce about lion taming. Meanwhile, everyone gets crushed to death under Coco the Clown’s runaway steamroller, and we all laugh about it afterwards.

The solution is found through meditation, and allowing everything to stop, especially your thoughts. It’s the most effective internalisation tool I know of. Softening the soul is a big component, and gives further context to the cave-and-light analogy. Anyway, as long as that moment of clarity and fullness is experienced, go about it as you wish. If inner-visualisation is your bag, and you’re not having that kind of experience, then re-read the previous paragraph, and stop visualising altogether. It’s an emotional experience, not a visual one, per se. Woods for trees, okay?

That’s precisely the problem in a nutshell: seeing the woods for the trees. The light is as strong as you like, but our ability to notice can be really poor. It’s the fullness of meditation that opens the doorway, and this brings us full-circle to Good thoughts and the virtues. You see, those are tangible traits that correlate with fullness. It’s literally the same concept in other systems where you role-play or ‘become’ a deity in order to connect with them and enjoy their qualities. There’s a damned-good reason for it, which has been lost amongst these trees of ours. EJT is yet another take on the very same thing.

That special quality, the indescribable fullness that can be experienced in meditation is the opening to who and what we truly are. Allow it, know it, and become it. Nurture the flame, both in meditation and thereafter. Yes, it can be elusive and mercurial, it’s okay if you struggle. Don’t grab; allow. It’s not a visiting external force, it’s actually YOU. Return to that quality, and keep the flame burning. Millennia ago, that was done quite literally. Recognise the light and the cave will begin to slowly illuminate all by itself; not because it was dark, but because before we lacked the eyes to see.

The implication all along here is that the light’s been disallowed. In other words: ‘all disease comes from within’ and we’re essentially a pack of godless apple-munching sinners. Always keep in mind that this is never a binary thing. Not everything’s blocked everywhere, but rather it’s transformed by the cut of the soul’s fabric. Here’s my stained glass window of the soul analogy, presented in fashionable VogonExternal hyperlink poetry:

So pure the light,
Birthed through glass,
Within a storied splash, is cast.

The premise of always-on light supports the notion that a truly bad person can have a redemptive moment of ‘god’ at any time should they or their circumstances facilitate it. Given the discussion here, it’s not much of a leap. It’s why some folks have claimed having experienced instant illumin­ation, or were aroused by a guru’s touch (yes, I went there). It’s true you can’t build Rome in a day, but you can certainly pull its trousers down.

Like all good things, it comes with a caveat, in that some spirits are truly bad anyway, per consensus on what makes ‘good’. Note that I didn’t state any given associated soul is necessarily bad. Anyway, such awakening is highly undesirable, and frankly the ‘good’ souls with bad spirits suffer enough already, and I’ll leave it there with visuals of batteries and The Matrix. A heavenly war to cut the fabric of everything is heavy shit indeed. Religious types screw this all up of course, because — ego — and have literally or proverbially killed innocents for pleasure, or whatever it is that gets them off.

The long road

Three stone steps within a mossy natural stone archway, leading to a lush garden. This was a picture taken at Powerscourt Demesne, in Wicklow, Ireland. It's a very beautiful place indeed. The three steps represent the three pillars of Good Thoughts, Good Words and Good Actions. That being a happy coincidence, but the author will take it

The journey of self-illumination is the journey to uplift the soul into wakeful consciousness. The soul is consciousness, but in a more primal sense. As we turn the inner eye to the light within, so by correlation does spirit imbue the soul. The journey is guided by material action, given we largely exist in a material state. All of this relates to another saying of mine, which is a self-empowerment truth I came up with decades ago when experiencing ongoing assault from entities:

What touches me, I touch also.

In other words, what’s done to us, can be returned. Eye for an eye? Sort of, but don’t lose sight of your virtues on the way out. It’s more about taking the initiative rather than being a victim. Everything impacts the soul and spirit, being also subject to touching/being touched. It’s like establishing a phone connection, because both ends have to transfer information to one another to make it happen. It means you always have the power to negotiate, including, but not limited to, using your kicking boots with extreme prejudice. Understanding that actions impact the soul is a pillar of EJT.

The soul treads it’s journey human lifetime after lifetime. The soul spans from the ‘lower’ or ‘heavy’ layers of the spiritual realms into the even heavier material world. It’s easy to think of bridges in this sense, but although that’s a useful notion, it’s not analogous. The final stage of the transformation presses the soul against the black mirror of spacetime, and forcing an about-flip within that mirror.

In regular 3d spacetime, each dimension is a rotation onto a new plane. In a 4d tesseractExternal hyperlink situation (especially watch the linked YouTube videoExternal hyperlink) the 4th dimension appears inverted from a 3d perspective. I contend it damned-well feels like that too — because I’m talking about emotions and consciousness here — which is why we approach everything arse-over-tit, and don’t realise it. Metaphysically, the final transformation polarises the bridging soul, that is it forms positive and negative aspects, which can be viewed like a strong emotional circuit with ‘electrical’ energy and flow. Hence the earlier battery analogy, and the emotional-electric thinking behind Earth Jakked.

It’s quite clear that doctrinally insisting ‘all disease comes from within’ is disingenuous for the vast majority of people. It’s the same where religion punishes people by default for being imperfect. Like an ivoried man telling a homeless beggar, ‘go get a job, you lazy bum!’, the rest of us know it’s not that simple. In our world, disease is treated by putting things on the surface of, or inside of people. It’s like fixing compromised computer systems with one antivirus cleaner after another, and calling that ‘normal’ action. It’s not that it doesn’t reasonably work, it’s that it ignores that those systems shouldn’t have been vulnerable in the first case. But hey, there’s no money in that model. Given a clear and deep enough inner connection, and with good practice, disease can be relegated to those occasional moments of lion taming stupidity, per the earlier graphic.

Jesus was a great bro, and a true revolutionary an’ all, because he was fully awake. Others too, of course. I’ve been harsh and mocking of his religion, but I wasn’t aiming at him. My sights are squarely on dull-minded programmer-priests and their marching legions of thumb pushers. So for god’s sake, do the one thing they can’t comprehend, and swipe back for Jesus, because he’s already swiped for you.

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